To be thankful and content.

Thankful for this twin.

Wed, 22 May 2013 00:38:21 -0400

Thankful for this twin.

"If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from..."

Mon, 20 May 2013 22:01:00 -0400

““If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.””

- Romans 10. Proclaim, yell, scream, sing, speak, tell, believe. Jesus is Lord.

Confess and believe.

Jesus, everything I’ve lost I have found in You. When I finally reach the end I will say You are worth it all.

Hear the sound of Heaven singing, “You are worth it all!”

Acts 2. Ephesians 6. Stand. I can feel it. The pruning is clipping deeper every day and I beckon more. Choosing to stand, and stand firm with the belt of truth, shield of faith, breastplate of righteousness with feet shod, praying in the Spirit, alert for the end is near.

Light, glorious Light! I will go where You shine! Amen amen...

Thu, 09 May 2013 22:37:00 -0400

Light, glorious Light! I will go where You shine! Amen amen amen!

May 5, 2012 - May 5, 2013

Sun, 05 May 2013 21:40:38 -0400

Wait… what?

Three words: this past year.

The past year of my life probably could be made into a movie and it might actually be entertaining. Totally not entertaining to the world, but maybe to a few friends and family who know me. I’ve never had so many unexpected things happen to me in the span of a year before, and hello all, I’m a different being now.

This past year I have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator, because I have indeed been raised with Christ. (Colossians 3.)

It’s about that time in life for me when I’m like uuhhh, what kind of job do I want? Uuuh, my major? I’m gonna use it in real life? The days are up and down with thoughts of future career possibilities and dreams. A part of me knows that I probably won’t be a music educator for the next twenty years. Yeah, that’s a definite no. And some days when I’m feeling the pressure in the music department to be that way and feel the tension of my heart telling me that’s not who I am, it’s a little discouraging. I’m like, what in the world am I doing with this degree? Then I have moments of refreshment when I’m reminded of the Lord making me fearfully, wonderfully and in a unique way. The Lord reminded me of this through Dorie Sunshine the other day. She was like,
“Hey Natalie, I slept in your bed the other night!”
“Whaaa? HA!”
“Yeah, I was hanging with Lucy, and then I look over and am like, ‘oh, here’s Africa!’ and love the way you decorate your room. I totally see you doing non-profit stuff…”

Ah! Thank you Lord for that encouraging conversation. The word “willing” has been recurring in my mind as I’ve heard several recently talk about how the Lord uses the willing hearts. I am willing, and that’s why I chose my major, to do ministry, and how exciting it is to think of combining my skills and uniqueness with my non-profit passion. Recognizing and understanding more and more of Christ’s death and resurrection propels my heart into this willing state. As I put on my new self no wonder I have no clue what’s in store for me. I am a new creation, in Christ. Heck, I’m going to London this summer. Who knew? Jesus did!

Oh simply to speak His name is praise!

Changing, changing, changing so much. I can see lots of it coming, but I just didn’t last year. Now I find it harder and harder to connect with some of my friends who I considered myself close with a year ago, yet simultaneously the Lord has blessed me with precious, dear new friends, and also shown me those who have encouraged me along this rocky way too.
By this time next weekend a handful of dearly loved people will be removed from my life in one way or another, (it being graduation), and because of this time I can’t help but reflect on the past couple of years with them, see how much we have all grown, and be awed by the hope in Christ that has carried us. I treasure these relationships that have changed me for good, as Elphaba and Glinda would sing.

How relational the Lord has made me and how His power is made perfect through my weakness when I feel broken over changed friendships. He without a doubt binds up my broken heart for His glory using and moving me in immeasurable more ways than I could imagine. How exciting living for Him is, for wherever He leads, I’ll sing harmony.
Once again, Bethany Dillon pulls through. I want her to sing at my funeral.

Divas. @saraholiviagray

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 08:55:11 -0400

Divas. @saraholiviagray

Success. Our moms are friends now.

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 09:25:00 -0400

Success. Our moms are friends now.

Lovely, just lovely.

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 10:28:21 -0400

Lovely, just lovely.

"One day we will feel a hand brushing across our cheek and a voice calling our name, and our eyes..."

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 08:39:37 -0400

““One day we will feel a hand brushing across our cheek and a voice calling our name, and our eyes will open, as if from a long sleep, and on our bedside we will see Him whom we have longed all of our lives to see. And then we will realize, maybe for the first time… that He was not only there when we woke up in the morning, but He was with us all through the night.””

- Ken Gire

My first Easter.

Sun, 31 Mar 2013 23:19:13 -0400

Many conversations I have had recently with friends have involved talking about the Holy Spirit. I am encouraged by these times of fellowship very much so, but am restless to say something more. My heart has been dwelling on Him who in a way preceded the Holy Spirit. My mind is simply stuck on this man. His short life on earth beckons my heart like never before. Oh, my little baby mind!

Jesus. Jesus! The Son of Almighty God! He is so vibrantly on my mind. I don’t want to stop thinking about him. And the concept of believing. I believe that years and years ago he lived a “short” life here on earth. Not many people do much thinking about history other than studying its facts to vomit out on a test in school. They may believe the facts happened, but wholeheartedly? I don’t think so. It tends to be more like a, “well, sure that happened.” We don’t think outside of our own “here and nows” and get stuck in our stupid little ignorant lives thinking about our own desires and what’s for lunch. GEEZ, wake UP. Life is so much more, and this earth is gone so much quicker than we can actually comprehend.

God sent down His Son, to live a life on earth, being the most pure form of man to ever live, so that He could die in order to fulfill the promised prophecy, the truth. Oh my goodness, I should just stop writing because a simple blog post does nothing in conveying my thought process - I pray it may as does my life!

A man came named Jesus. Reading through the gospels and reading about the life that He lived on earth for 33 years has changed me as it’s like drinking the best water ever to my dry soul.

And though reading about his life is a large chunk of truth to process, there has been one phrase that recurs in my mind and heart almost daily as I think about Jesus and long for him. He continually says, “repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is near!”

It’s my first Easter this year. It is, because for the first time in my life my eyes were opened, 3 months ago, to see the weight of my sinful, messed up self, Natalie. Feeling the weight of my sin, my sexual sin, my lies, my manipulative selfishness, my pride, my discontentment, my fallen state of being and longing for wholeness - to know that it is all laid on Jesus breaks me. How can I keep living the way I live here in Chattanooga, TN getting distracted by materialism and earthly dreams? How can I proclaim His truth? With boldness! His mission has not be fully carried out in Chattanooga. There are many who do not know of Him. My painful sin, after feeling it, I can hardly believe that Jesus felt its true depth for me… and then my brain literally is overwhelmed to attempt to imagine and understand Jesus feeling e v e r y o n e ’ s.

My brain feels like it literally stops. I’m not capable of understanding it. I’m stuck. I’m stuck on Jesus. Stuck in awe. I am stuck on Him and utterly long for Him. I want to be able to touch him like the disciples did when he was here on earth. To touch the Son of God.

And God has chosen me to be His daughter! Jesus became and is my older brother!? And I have been given truth that will set sinners free! Proclaim, repent, proclaim! My eyes have been shown light for truly the first time, and I am eager to see the Lord use my body to serve His Kingdom. To see for the first time. What change is seen in Saul’s seeing for the first time, becoming Paul. His life is spent proclaiming truth about Jesus’ death and resurrection, because he sees. Why am I not jumping on every opportunity as he did? Give me the strength of the Holy Spirit in which the disciples had, Lord. Oh how I am jealous of their literal walks with the Lord, with Jesus. To be able to see His face on this earth - teach me Lord to see You in everything.

To believe. Every morning and afternoon is another opportunity to get to know Jesus more.

Simply to speak Your name, Jesus, is praise.

Because Your love is better than life, O Lord, may my lips will glorify You!

Like mother, like daughter… I am extremely thankful for...

Mon, 18 Mar 2013 23:21:03 -0400

Like mother, like daughter…

I am extremely thankful for this beautiful, young woman of God. Her delight in the Lord is so radiantly contagious. And how fun it is to see the many smiles that the Lord spreads over our friendship with similarities between us. Thankful. (And Happy Birthday in t-minus ten days, Laur!)

I have died.

Tue, 05 Mar 2013 09:57:37 -0500

“If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.” Colossians 3.

My heart is so different, guys! I’m ready to die, that’s the best way to put it.

And me and my little Tennessee self is fixin’ to go to London this summer. The Lord has opened and closed doors so clearly for me. Imma going, going… gone. My life in this body is like a breath, like a fleeting shadow.

O truth, be on my lips! For I have been RAISED.

Thankful for chatting with Kay Arthur and receiving her Chapel...

Fri, 22 Feb 2013 16:12:06 -0500

Thankful for chatting with Kay Arthur and receiving her Chapel notes.

Photo

Tue, 19 Feb 2013 10:03:17 -0500

Missing these two a ton today. Want a pitcher of asparagus?...

Sat, 09 Feb 2013 16:51:27 -0500

Missing these two a ton today. Want a pitcher of asparagus? Cobbles. @haneliven @rachelcobble

ITCHING to go camping.

Tue, 22 Jan 2013 10:24:00 -0500

ITCHING to go camping.

Good Saturday morning from the dorm.It’s neat to study the...

Sat, 19 Jan 2013 10:39:00 -0500

Good Saturday morning from the dorm.

It’s neat to study the Bible and see its many metaphors and connections throughout its entirety. Ever have those moments when a lot that you’ve been thinking on and reading recently just morphs into one thing? Welp, that morph happened in one verse this morning. Thank you, Lord, for your word and how it speaks and is truth!

That verse reads, “Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’” Hebrews 13:5.

The past few days have consisted of me reading through some Joshua. People, Israelites, walked through a big river, with the ark of the covenant! Like, WHOA. The Lord speaks to Joshua throughout. Rahab hides messengers of the Lord in order for His power to take place in ridding destruction.
With Alice’s ESV Study Bible I looked up in the back where Joshua was referenced in the New Testament to come upon Hebrews 13. Joshua 1:5-9 is when the Lord raises up Joshua as a leader and tells him to be strong and courageous, for He, God, is with Him in all and everywhere he goes. Worded, “I will never leave you nor forsake you,” the author of Hebrews references Joshua!
Throughout the past several months these words have been sung into my life with the song “After All (You Are Constant).” It’s been a favorite to me and several friends, listened to often.
As a college student, Sarah and I have been very convicted of how to live differently as followers of Jesus and doing so involving sacrifice, giving, in response to the love and grace our Lord showers us in. Wanting to be missionaries as well, the physical act of traveling calls us to give up possessions. Sarah literally cannot bring her things to France with her as she leaves, so why not give them away? We don’t need them! As the Lord fills our satisfaction this becomes so easy and an act of thanks to Him. So, as I was brought to this verse five many thoughts and meditations of my heart were brought to mind. The whole chapter contained many truths my heart is learning.

This life is fleeting, and “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever!”

With confession of sin, “it is good for the heart to be strengthened by grace…”

“Be content with what you have,” eternal life, “therefore, let us go to him outside the camp (outside this earthly world), and bear the reproach HE endured. For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come. Through Him, let us continue to offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name…”

Joshua and Hebrews

Jesus Christ, the Lord, reigns, for to me to live is Christ and to die is gain.

"I am no longer in Music History right now. Cheers."

Thu, 17 Jan 2013 10:20:34 -0500

“

I am no longer in Music History right now.

Cheers.

”

Dinnertime.

Fri, 11 Jan 2013 10:56:35 -0500

What are we doing?

“Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.” Psalm 63

Yesterday I ran into a friend at dinner and asked him to join our table for a few minutes to chat. Asking him how he was doing with a recent break-up I hear his response include vulgar words thrown in here and there while he also explains his recent interest in a girl at school. Talking about how he’s gone about getting to know this girl so far, he states the fact that he hasn’t asked her what she thinks about Jesus yet, and plans to do so at the right time. Doesn’t want to come across as being to forward…

Another situation. A friend, fellow brother, from Germany came to visit the States last week. Jan, precious Jan, is his name. He’s a young man who loves the Lord, and it’s definitely seen in his heart and by how he serves the homeless in his hometown in Germany. He came to visit here in Tennessee and while out at dinner one night with a couple of new friends he asks one of them very directly if he is a Christian. Thing is, the guy was openly homosexual, and immediately felt uncomfortable as he had fallen away from faith over the past several years; his response, “…uh …I go to church every now and then with her.” Awkward. Everyone at the table but Jan felt awkward.

These three situations just happen to all be at dinner, and with that thought, what are we feasting on? Heh? The other night my family got together to celebrate my dad’s birthday. With all the family sitting around the table the conversation transitions to me wanting to intern in Nairobi. Within a few minutes of me explaining it my grandmother, with her educated stares, looks at me and starts talking about how a young man in our church recently passed away living in Africa somewhere. Then the table is talking about my safety and me being a woman traveling so far by myself. (Sorry, fam, I’m going). It was like, “well, is that really worth it to you?”

Man. Well. Yeah, to all of you Christians who might read this, “classic American church struggles,” right? Try harder and get up and just do something. No. You’re missing it. You’re wasting your life as John Piper would say. We. Don’t. Even. Understand. What. We’re. Saying.
One of my best friends and I were talking yesterday about how incomparable, unfathomable, completely shocking, face-body-self-soul-flooring, speechless we’ll be coming into the presence of God when our numbered, fleeting days are up. You’re going to die soon, whether you like to think that or not. This God is who I, we, proclaim to believe in. What you believe in shapes who you are, and modifies everything you do. Examples A, B, and C above are all illustrations of “missing” this.
My faith is in Christ, in this all-shocking God. I believe in Him (John 3:16). With my faith, also, I am justified (Romans 5:1), and am covered in peace with God because of, and through my belief in, the death of Jesus Christ. All of my sin, the haunting memories of the past, have been done for already. They were placed on the shoulders of Christ as he was murdered innocently for the people of the world that he created; sins were taken away from me (us) and paid for by my Lord?! They were finished and I am pronounced righteous in the sight of GOD, not having to pay or work for any of it, only have faith, believe. (Sing a song of praise here or shout if you can’t help it).
This is the gospel.
We, Christians, who proclaim to believe in Christ Jesus believe this. That the ALMIGHTY UNFATHOMABLE OMNIPOTENT GOD loves us like this.
Now take that and live.
Live by faith, not by sight (II Corinthians 5:7). Good night nurse, don’t live by sight. This world we live in is a fog. Distractions are everywhere that tell you anything but the gospel - self-promoting material, in fact, causing depression, to diagnosis it if I can be a doctor for a second. In realizing and saturating oneself in Christ, in His truth, meditating on the gospel, how it’s not about self-promotion, but Christ, who self-gave, your heart changes. Everything about you changes. When your heart truly changes it shoots your legs and arms into motion running the race of this short, fleeting, earthly life with endurance. You physically want to respond with thanks to our Lord.
We miss all of this life, this truth, when we start believing the crud of earthly hellish media and start wasting our lives. Wasting our lives by being content to wait for self-comfort, ask the girl about Jesus when there’s a level of “comfort” reached, being content to be silent in stating your beliefs, being content to stay “safe” in the comfort of home and not branch out in any missional, good-news-spreading way.
Wasting life. Do you believe that your God sent a part of Himself, His Son, to be crucified for you? Meditating on this fact, as many believers call, “the cross,” is real. It happened. And as Christ came down to earth to die for us, for 33 years he walked these jail lands for us, calling people like us to himself, to follow him and give them life. If we have faith, we follow him and are given eternal life with Him, the God of all. In following Him, we leave all else that is tangible behind, straining towards eternity, glory, continuous worship.
With this in mind and heart, everything you do looks different because death is in sight. Death to this earth. Death in sight because our sinful state on earth is not grace, love, truth, eternity, everything He gives us. Christ, life, is now in us. We are no longer condemned to hell, where we were once deserving of because of our sin. Instead, we have been given life forever. So why not ache, yearn, to reach that forever-life with God more than anything else? I don’t know about you, but life forever with a lover who is my Savior is what I am yearning for. Ultimate satisfaction is in Christ.
Why do we compromise with others and ourselves in such small, petty situations? Because we’re human, and we forget… we waver in struggle with believing that “it’s all about me” because that’s what sin and the world tells us. We forget that it’s not about us, and mess up, yet the Lord never ceases to remind, forgive, and love us still.
It’s all about you Lord! Show us our sin and need for you, almighty Lord. Strip us of ourselves, shed the scales from our blind eyes to see more of your magnificence. I want to be one who comes into your presence and can hear you say, “well done, good and faithful servant.” I want to walk down the narrow path, through the narrow gate in this brief life. I want you truth on my lips to tell others of your goodness, to delight in You. Thank you for paying, for giving me life. All glory, all praise to you.

“Because your love is better than life my lips will glorify you.”

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed in us.” Romans 8:18

“For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. For one who has died has been set free from sin. Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him.” Romans 6:5…

“‘The cross is not the terrible end to an otherwise God-fearing and happy life, but it meets us at the beginning of our communion with Christ. When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die.’ Fleeing from death is the shortest path to a wasted life.” John and Dietrich.

“How could I stand here, and watch the sun rise, follow the mountains where they touch the sky, ponder the vastness, and the depths of the sea, and think for a moment the point of it all was to make much of me? Cause I’m just a whisper, and You are the thunder.
And how can I kneel here, and think of the cross? The thorns and the whip and the nails and the spear? The infinite cost to purchase my pardon, and bear all my shame? To think I have anything worth boasting in except for Your name? Cause I am a sinner, and You are the Savior!
I want to make much of You, Jesus…”
-sing it, Steven Curtis Chapman

Jesus anointed by a Sinful Woman.

Mon, 07 Jan 2013 11:13:30 -0500

Jesus anointed by a Sinful Woman.

“Gaze into my eyes, and let me know you’d fight...

Sun, 06 Jan 2013 23:23:05 -0500

“Gaze into my eyes, and let me know you’d fight thousands…”